Mark Morford wants to know what to do with all those tubs of margarine if the promised gay apocalypse doesn't come:

I have been waiting patiently.

I have been staring with great anticipation out the window of my flat here in the heart of San Francisco, sighing heavily, waiting for the riots and the plagues and the screaming monkeys and the blistering rain of inescapable hellfire. I have my camera all ready and everything.

There has been nothing.

Really, go read it. And then subscribe to the Morning Fix. Mistah Morford, he funny.