|
storm in local teacup
Via BigFatBlog, I learned that the local rag recently printed the following "event blurb" by one Karla Starr: Are you a fatty? Want to be in a book? Waddle over to a computer, grab your typing stick (those sausage fingers hit too many keys at once, don't they?), go to stacybias.net, and fill out the contact form for your chance to contribute to Bias' FatGirl Speaks, a short-fiction anthology inspired by her event of the same name.I sent Ms Starr the following: Ms Starr:Then I wrote the WW editor (and owner?) Mark Zusman to say the same thing. I got a response from Ms Starr within minutes; Despite being angry, though, I am already inclined to view her apology as genuine. On first reading, she does not whine or excuse herself, and gives evidence that she actually read and responded to my letter rather than sending an untailored form response. I'll get back to you on that, but I can say this now: I have screwed up in much the same way myself, though the "target" of my idiocy was a different group. (I'll spare you the details; suffice it to say, I cringe when I think of it -- and I think of it often.) I remember with cold and stomach-churning clarity the feeling that came over me when I realized, fully realized, what I'd done. Am I a scumbag for what I did, or a decent person for being ashamed of it now? I honestly don't know, but I do know that if Ms Starr is feeling now what I felt then, I'm willing to give her a second chance. My only other choice is rank hypocrisy. Update: OK, I've had time to cool off, and I've re-read the mail I got, as well as a few replies from Ms Starr that other people have posted. There's a lot of "oh, she's just saying what she's told to say because her editors are worried about bad PR", but I don't agree. Her tone has changed from "I was just joking" to "I'm really sorry", and (pace a number of commenters) she's not posting form letters: all the replies I've seen have some cut-and-paste, but that's only sensible when answering so many letters. I've yet to see any actual repeats; I believe Ms Starr is reading and answering each letter, and I think she's genuinely sorry. Editor Kelly Clarke is another story, and I don't know what to expect from WW itself. I expect they will take a line somewhere between "get over it" and "but, but, we invited Stacy Bias to come and talk to us, what more does the woman want?". Oy. Anyway, this is what Ms Starr plans to print: I initially wanted to use this space to tell people to laugh it off, but then I started reading my e-mails--all of them. And responding. To each one. There were only so many heartfelt stories about weight discrimination I could read before realizing just how many people I'd hurt--and how many others I hurt who never wrote. It's forced me to seriously reconsider my definition of humor and body image and appreciate the influence of my words. After experiencing firsthand the power of reading so many stories, my appreciation and respect for Stacy Bias's work and upcoming book has grown tremendously. I'd like to thank everyone for writing and helping to open my eyes; it's always appreciated, at kstarr@wweek.com. I sincerely apologize to Ms. Bias and everyone I hurt with my words, which perpetuated the notion that weight discrimination is the last acceptable form of prejudice--regardless of your past or present size, it's never okay.There's still a tinge of defensiveness in the references to her earlier responses ("it was meant to be funny", "I used to be fat myself"). Ms Starr's email to me was much more "I fucked up, I'm sorry, no excuses", and I wish she'd stick to that in her printed response -- it would do more to assuage hurt feelings -- but she has had to respond fairly quickly, and I know it always takes me a good long while to get past the defensive stage whenever someone points out that I've fucked up. I'll wait for the next issue of WW to make up my mind completely, but as of now I'm inclined to take Ms Starr at her word and accept her apology. Final update: I wrote the principals but forgot to say anything here; like Stacy Bias, I'm happy to accept Ms Starr's apology and pleased to see mistakes being treated as opportunities for positive change.
Comments Nah, Ralfi, different screwup, really very similar to Karla Starr's. (If you don't remember, I ain't telling.) But the one we managed together is another good example. Post a comment |
RSS Feed Links: spousal unit me copy Bloglines account Simpy account Connotea account OpenWetWare userpage blogroll: Archives: July 2008 May 2008 April 2008 March 2008 February 2008 January 2008 December 2007 November 2007 October 2007 September 2007 August 2007 July 2007 June 2007 May 2007 April 2007 March 2007 January 2007 December 2006 November 2006 October 2006 September 2006 August 2006 July 2006 June 2006 May 2006 April 2006 March 2006 February 2006 January 2006 December 2005 November 2005 October 2005 September 2005 August 2005 July 2005 June 2005 May 2005 April 2005 March 2005 February 2005 January 2005 December 2004 November 2004 October 2004 September 2004 August 2004 July 2004 June 2004 May 2004 April 2004 March 2004 February 2004 January 2004 December 2003 |
If the screw up you're referring to is the one I was also involved in, I'm with you re remembering and learning about human's fallibility, not to mention more awareness, from it.
R